The Game

This post might take some thinking, some reflective thought. I hope that it does.

We’ve all done it. Played along to get along. The game of life, all that crap you do every day so that you can rush around in some strange place for a week or two, burning through all your savings, so that you can tell everyone what a wonderful time you had while you weren’t doing all that crap you do every day.


a form of play or sport, especially a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck.
synonyms:    pastime, diversion, entertainment, amusement, distraction, divertissement, recreation, sport, activity

We don’t always realize it. Graduate from school not sure what we’re going to do and the next thing you  know you are caught up in trying to pay your bills and meet the requirements of being human. Eat, sleep, fornicate, drink, breathe… in any order that you like. Lather, rinse, repeat. Our interests distract us and we become overburdened just trying to meet the 5 requirements, the 5 necessary things that our bodies demand we do. Sure, some of us try to ignore them or do too much of one or more of them, but in the end we’ll do all 5. Our biology ensures that this will be. That’s it. The 5 requirements of mammalian life, and it appears that it applies to all forms of life that we know of.

Most of us will find that even if the 5 are satiated and no more difficult to acccomplish than opening our eyes each morning, something else is missing. Something else needs to be done. Those 5 just simply are not enough.

Not necessity, not desire – no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything – health, food, a place to live, entertainment – they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche was a fairly smart guy. What could that demon be? How are your demons today? What is true must be true for the best of us and the least of us. That demon has to be able to affect all of us, from the greatest human to the lowest worm. Thought of it yet? Think harder. Fear. Fear is the demon. Fear that we will not accomplish one of the 5 requirements now or in the future. Our biology drives us this way. It tells us to be afraid, makes us react whenever something, at its core, will stop us from doing one or more of those 5 things for too long. There it is, the five laws and the only demon we all share. Think about it for a bit. All the rest of human society and culture is based on these things, built up layer upon layer of complexity until we no longer recognize it. So many layers of complexity that we have thought ourselves more than animals for a long time, looking down upon those that do the five with much greater efficiency than ourselves.

So many are sure that the world, that life is an illusion yet you are certain that your world and your life are real. Your mind will tell you many things in your life. That inner voice, your subconscious twin. It will tell you what beauty is, what it is not and it will tell you that the limb you used to have is still there. Can you truly know that it’s missing or not if your mind tells you so stealthily? Your mind interprets all the data that it can find and tells you what the world is, what society is, and what they are not. Who are you talking to when you talk to yourself. Who answers back when you reflectively seek answers to problems in this illusion of life? Do you have a twin inside your mind?

When you tell yourself that you’ve done the best you can for today do you hear a reply? There is much to think about. Will both of you agree on what the answers are? Will you both even conclude that there are answers? If there are no answers, then what? What if the big questions have no answers? Oh, there’s that demon again. Now the argument with your twin begins in earnest. One of you dared ask “why are we here?”, “For what purpose are we here?” The wisest among us end such argument with the simple thought that it does not matter, here we are and here we will remain until someone figures out how to change that. The luckiest among us never ask the questions, they simply get on with the business of being. Once we ask our twin that kind of question all sorts of mayhem follows.

We worship ideals that we have deified, accepting the wisdom of this illusion because our ideal dictates to us what we must need do, how it is that we make sense of the world we cannot be part of. No, you are your mind and it will never touch or taste or smell the world around you. It does not have those abilities. It simply crunches data and models the world around you. Sure it has sensors but your mind will never know what a rose smells like, really know. It will never know the color of a juicy apple, never really know. All it, all that you will ever know is an approximation of what the world is like. You and your twin are trapped inside a skull. Yes, it is _your_ skull but it’s no better than any other skull. It just happens to be the one wrapped around the brain that your mind is in, that you are in.

You will never be closer to the world than some electrical signals tell you that you are. If we live in a simulation you will never know because whether it’s a simulation or just nerves bringing you sense data, your brain will interpret that data as reality. When you have a ‘reality’ the game begins. By the time you were 2 years old the game had begun. The day you were born, not so much.

It’s a game. Complex, scary, difficult. Still, it’s just a game. It’s the only game there is. Even that is complex for you can create a game within the game, play by your own rules in that part and by the other rules in other parts. The rules get complicated, layer upon layer of rules. What if you don’t want to play? What if you want to simply be? Can you step outside the game? Can you stop playing and still meet the 5 requirements? What would it be like to be outside the game?

Oh, that’s a lot of questions for you and your twin to talk about. I wonder what answers you’ll come up with? I wonder if you’ll share them here?

To help you and your twin to think about them, here’s Bill

  1. Dear Mal,

    The game. You explain it so well. Why is it so hard to just exist?

    “What if you don’t want to play?”
    Hmmm…what does this look like to me… Depression, lack of motivation, loss of “purpose”, psychopath…. I often ask myself if it possible to just exist within the game of life without having to play? Is that irresponsible, to just…be? Am I lazy to want to walk around using the game to better myself-my person, my being-rather than playing to better my life game? Is it wrong to want to increase the value of my mind in lieu of my tangible situation/life/game? Can I not just roam around increasing; perspective; secular worth of my cognitive bank; experiences, memories, knowledge of the truth? Is this not enough? Do I really have to sustain a career, have kids, play nice, play by the game’s rules?

    I want to just be…fuck.

    “What if you want to simply be?”
    Well, what_fucking_if? What horrid effects would transpire if I did not pursue a career or did not marry or never stopped feeding my famished desire to burn the world down with a smile? Am I a bad person because I just want to be? Lazy? Imprudent? Sinful? Clinically insane?

    “Can you step outside the game?”
    Mal, it looks beautiful out here….
    To know the raw, alluring truth is one thing…but to peer into it deeper, to explore it, to question it, to admire it with another perspective…what is this? To understand the truth is often mind-boggling, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Hey are you offering me a glass of water; shit you are making this easier? To know something so real and to have that validated? Validated…Accepted…Recognized. What a shared moment feels like outside the game. I’m out here Mal, are you willing to step outside with me? What if I do not let go of your hand…what would you do?

    “Can you stop playing and still meet the 5 requirements?”
    Can you be real and still be primitively? Well Mal, can you live and exist primitively? The caveman did it why can’t I? Go ahead I am listening.

    “What would it be like to be outside the game?”
    Oh Mal…I wish you could see it. No stress, no pending worries, everything is what it is….The only unavoidable requirement outside the game is – acceptance. Can you accept that the game bears no value? And if someone places value on the game, how can an escape be something accepted…is that not contradiction? Hmmm.

    I want out.

    Reflective thought? Yes Sir.

    Thank you Mal for such a gracious, mind seducing post.

    ~slave bri

  2. Reblogged this on confessions of a former dramaqueen and commented:
    I learned today that the author of this post, Sir Mal, passed away on Oct. 7th. His wife, who did not know of his blog until after his passing, shared the news with his followers and has since spent hours reading his thoughts.
    Sir Mal and I exchanged several texts after following one another here on WordPress. He reached out to me during an incredibly dark time, when I was trying to make my way through an abusive and scary relationship. He questioned my reasoning and challenged me to break free from the toxic elements of my life.
    I hadn’t read his posts or spoken to him in well over a year. After hearing the sad news, I went back through his blog and found this entry, published only days before he left this earth. I don’t know how he died, but I can say for certain now, he has the answers. And he inspired me to find mine in my own way.
    I’ve given his post a lot of thought. Asking myself the questions he dared ask and for me, the answers are clear and they do not scare me. My purpose is love. I fear it being taken from me or not returned at all. It is only then that I truly suffer.
    For some, the game itself, causes great suffering.

    I hope that Sir Mal has found peace. I will remember him fondly. ❤

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