God Helped Me Find My Car Keys

I was thinking about this tonight and something twitched in me. I thought about what this might mean. Someone helped me find my car keys, as in some human, means that I was weak and unable to remember where I put them. I was at fault. I was failing at life. I needed help to do what normal people do every day. I was failing to be normal. So when a believer claims that their god helped them do something normal….

What they are saying is that they were unable to be normal, that they were failing at being normal and needed help. Further, and most astoundingly, they claim it a miracle that their ‘god’ helped them to be normal.Think about that for a minute. Go on, I mean it.


Yes, believers are saying that they need help to be normal and better than that they are claiming a miracle for it. It does not matter whether it was finding the car keys or that their sports team won, the point is they are claiming the need for help to be normal and declaring it a miracle. Every thinking person who hears such flotsam should rightfully shove these claimants into the mud and explain exactly how ignorant they are. There is no excuse for it. To think that an unexplained god gave them the power to be normal for a minute is the ultimate admission of ignorance. Whenever you hear this kind of stuff please explain to the claimant how utterly ignorant they are. It would be doing all of us a favor, including the claimant.


  1. While I agree with your basic premise that “God helped me find my car keys’ is a nonsensical statement because (a) there is no God, and (b) the means by which a god might help someone find their car keys using some sense or skill above and beyond what they possess is problematic, I’m afraid I have to disagree with you on one point: asking for help doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a human being. For example, as someone who lives with major depression, I ask for help regularly – from my pharmacist to my therapist. In my opinion, this indicates that I am a more effective human being; a “stronger”, “fitter” one, if you like – because I am doing what I need to do to live the best life I can.
    So: agree with your overall sentiment, but don’t think this particular argument has legs!

    • I see your point but think that we simply have two different perspectives on the same thought, one that we both agree on. The difference between asking god for help and asking a pharmacist for help is that the pharmacist will speak with you face to face and assist you in a real and meaningful way. If you ask god for help finding a cold remedy at the pharmacy it is no different than if you simply kept looking till you find it.

        • preacherontheweb
        • September 1st, 2014

        Yeah, but bear in mind that I still have not asked Him for help to find the keys, the Pharmacist I have asked for help with a certaoin medication.


    • preacherontheweb
    • August 31st, 2014

    Interesting way of looking at it.
    If I lose something and find it I do exclaim “Thank God” not because I think God helped me find it or found it for me, but because I am relieved and am thanking Him for that fact.

    From the Preacher On The Web

    • What then do you declare if you don’t find them? Thank god?

    • lanceleuven
    • September 1st, 2014

    Maybe they should just ask him not to hide them in the first place. 🙂

  2. I have always found it odd, that religious types will do that kind of stuff. “Thank god I didn’t break my ankle when I took a bad step.” “Thank god the dog came home.” “Thank god they still had some hot wings at the hot wing joint.”

    It does make one wonder what the hell kind of life these people live…

  3. I agree. We are but in a state of “interconnectiveness”, if that is a word. It is not a case of “I” or “me” or self-deception if you will.

  1. April 21st, 2015

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