Who Is The Bad Guy Again?

I was going to write a post about Alzheimers disease   …    but I forgot what I was going to write.

Oh yeah… it’s a death sentence with years on death row while you are cared for by your family. I just found out that my mother has been given that death sentence. She will slowly and painfully begin losing all the abilities of her mind that I am so interested in learning about. As I learn, she will lose.

Oh yeah, happy holidays.

Did I mention she is a devout believer? Now there’s some meaning to life for you. We’re only here long enough to raise progeny and then we’re gone. We were on our way out when we were raising those kids…. just didn’t realize it.

No, there is no moral here, no lesson to be learned. Life is… and then it isn’t.

I can’t think of another thing to say.

Well, there’s this:

One day, about forever ago, I was visiting my mother’s mother. She dies of this disease. While visiting, on late evening she got confused about putting something or other away. I was standing there and talking with her while it happened. She turned, looked me straight in the eyes and earnestly asked me “Do you think I’m crazy?” I’ve never been able to forget that moment.

  1. myathiestlife,

    So sorry to hear about your mother.

    “Life is… and then it isn’t”

    This is a powerful line, and it embodies the essence of reality to the fullest extent, which is why I love it so much. It’s actually quite helpful.

    I think this it’s the one thing believers have the hardest time coming to terms with.

    And happy holidays…

    • thank you. I have felt that way for a very long time. I can’t think of anyway to face life but head on, toe to toe… even though in the end I know I’ll lose the fight

  2. sorry for your mum.

    • Me too… what I’ve seen of the disease, it removes reality from you

      • I wouldn’t even want to think about it. A life without memories though on the surface looks like a good thing, considered deeply is a very hollow existence for a human person.

        • and oddly enough, it is basically the promise that believers look forward to. How can one enjoy heaven if they can know their loved ones are in hell? You get a frontal lobotomy going through the pearly gates for heaven to hold its promise.

          • maybe the believers haven’t thought about the life they desire so badly once they are dead to see how contradictory or impossible it could be!

            • It’s interesting to ask them what heaven will be like….

  3. Been there, still doing that: a strong reminder that the mind is what the brain does.

    • chialphagirl
    • December 12th, 2013

    I am sorry about your mom. I lost a grandfather to that disease and my husband lost a grandmother. It is painful to watch. And even though you are not a believer and your mothers faith is probably frustrating to you, it will likely bring her comfort and hope and that is something worth having in the end.

  4. Your mother is not the only victim of this disease. Everyone feels the pain.

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